Was du heute kannst besorgen, das verschiebe nicht auf morgen.

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today (or: A stich in time saves nine)

What do you do to make your morning or after-holiday routine feel easier?

Yes, today is my blogs’ first anniversary! It’s been exactly a year since I published my first post and I have to say that I really enjoyed writing every single post.

I’ve started blogging one year ago because I had written about many topics just “for me” and wanted to share them somewhere. To write a book about them seemed very appealing but then I realized that I covered so many different topics, that it would have been like a jack of all trades device. A friend gave me the idea to try to write a blog. But it was a few months later, when another friend told me the same, that I really started blogging. It was during our holiday in Switzerland that I choose the name and the main cathegories I would write about.

Selecting a name for my blog didn’t take that much time. My status as an expat-since-birth did pretty much sum up the topics. I did evaluate the different definitions of Third Culture Kids, Adult Third Culture Kids, Global Nomads etc.  in a post called “expat definition maze” but couldn’t find really a cathegory I could fit in, so I created my own one: expatsincebirth.

About multilingualism:

The knowledge I acquired during my studies about bilingualism and multilingualism brought me to write several posts about these topics in the cathegory being multilingual. As a multilingual person, my home are my languages and when I got children, I had to choose which language to speak to them in our multilingual family. With the  “secret language among (my) twins” I introduced the complex linguistic situation within our family. After pointing our the different definitions of OPOL I wrote about OPOL among multilingual siblings.

I find it pretty interesting that multilingual siblings don’t necessarily have the same language preference and that the initial language plan we usually make when our children are still babies, can change for several reasons when they get older.

There are many myths about bilingualism. I didn’t want to list them all up. There are already many posts and literature about this. But one in particular did intrigue me. It’s about multilinguals having multiple personalities. I’m still collecting answers about this in order to write a paper about it. – You’re very welcome to leave a comment on my post about this.

And then there is the myth about code switching being a sign of weakness. Well, it is not, on the contrary: Don’t worry if your child does code-switching!

Those who know me, know that I’m firmly convinced that reading is very important. And it is even more important for multilingual children to read in the different languages they grow up with. For those who don’t like to read, I wrote a post about how to make our children like poetry (and songs!).

Learning new languages for expats is not always that easy. But there are some tips that can help. I did point out the five more important ones that worked for me and added another post with tips how to encourage children to learn the local language.

There are many reasons to become multilingual at any stage. We don’t have to start at a young age to become multilingual. I shared my multilingual journey and pointed out that the most important thing is to be willing to learn new languages: “When there’s a will, there’s a way to become multilingual“.

About parenting:

In my posts about parenting I tried to give some practical advices. Some more will follow but up to now I gave some advices for when the children have the flu and I shared a first-aid experience I had this summer with one of my daughters, trying to remind other parents about refreshing their First Aid skills regularly.

In the colder period of the year Indoor activities for children become more important and role plays can be fun also for the older ones.

I’m not an over protective parent and like the  Love and Logic approach in parenting which consists also in doing lot of questioning in order to make the children take their own decisions from a very early stage. Also helping less helps our children more than we sometimes think, and it helps us too to realize how independent they can be (even as toddlers).

I’m very interested in e-safety for parents and children and the resources that are available about this topic. I published a few posts about  “How to reduce screen time for children” and about “mobile phones for children“.

The importance to spend one-on-one time with our children and how to manage if you have more than one child is very important in my daily life with my kids. “How to make children listen to us and how to listen to them” and “communicating is listening with empathy” are two posts where I point out the importance of effective communication with our children.

I got a bit annoyed by posts called “What not to say…” and decided to post some about “What to say”: “to parents of a child with a disability” and to a “mum of twins” because I prefer positive reinforcement.

I didn’t write a lot about twins yet, but I’m preparing a whole series about twins “from baby to teen”. The first post about this is called “Twins at school: once separated always separated?“

When we spend holidays with our children we sometimes don’t really get to enjoy them as much as we would like. By giving them some chores we can easily get some holiday feeling too.

In order to lead a happier life, despite of all the movings, the changes and having many tasks around our kids, families and work, I wrote a post about the fact that our happiness depends on our selves: if we decide to be happy and take action we will succeed.

As I’m raising my children in a multicultural context and see many different parenting styles every day and I’m really fascinated in the different parenting styles across cultures I wanted to find some answers to the question “Do you think the cultures you’ve been in touch with did influence you in your parenting style?“. I’m still collecting feedbacks which I will publish in a paper. You’re very welcome to leave a comment on the post.

About expat life

I did publish several posts about expat life in general and some specific ones about the Netherlands and Switzerland. I will add some more about Germany and Italy, and maybe some other countries.

About ATCK’s raising TCK’s

Lately I got involved in several discussions about ATCK’s and TCK’s and joined several TCK groups online. I’m planning to write a small book about this and am preparing a questionnaire for ATCK’s (Adult Third Culture Kids) that I’ll soon publish on my blog.

I found out that TCK’s (and expats, global nomads etc.) often “tend to “start cutting bonds around 3 years into a friendship”” and that three is a magic number for TCK’s. Other topics in this cathegory are the good-byes, the ways “people call you“, the impossible question about “where is home” that TCK’s don’t like to be asked and “what kind of memories our kids will share with us“.

If you are interested to participate in my ATCK survey, please leave a message in the responses of my post “Are you an ATCK raising TCK’s” and I’ll get in touch with you.

****

The most satisfying aspect of running the blog in this first year has been interacting with bloggers and parents from around the world. I found many like minded persons and am having really interesting conversations with people around the globe that I’m really grateful to have found this bloggosphere.

 I’ve joined several groups on the internet and met some of them also in real life. The Multicultural Kid Blogs group on Facebook did even start a own blog that I strongly recommend. Then there are the fb groups Mum knows Mum, Third Culture Kids Netherlands, Expats in The Hague which meet regularly and Third Culture Kids Everywhere etc. that all give me very interesting ideas and inputs for posts.

I would like to thank all my followers for joining my blog and for leaving very interesting comments! The almost immediate response to my writings is amazing and all your feedbacks are very precious to me.

Van harte bedankt – Vielen herzlichen Dank – Con un grazie di cuore –

With a heartfelt thank you – Merci de tout coeur – Gracias de todo corazon!

1 Divide the tasks

If you have guests at Christmas you probably tend to feel responsible that everything is perfect and end up doing everything by yourself? And you get exhausted after a few days? Plan the busiest days in advance by dividing the tasks. Involve your guests, keep them busy.  One can help in the kitchen, the next one can fix the drawer, others can play with the kids or go for a walk… And if you are the guest: offer your help to the host.

2 Don’t bother about what others (could) expect from you

This is in addition to point one. If you have the impression that others might expect „more“ from you, take one step back and let them explain what they mean before getting anxious. It’s often a matter of perception. – And even if others do expect more than we want or can do: it’s their problem, not ours, right?

3 Relax

There is nothing more annoying than a host running around all the time, tidying up and not being able to sit down and relax. If you are the host, plan quiet moments and enjoy your visits. And if you are visiting, give the host the opportunity to rest, sit down and have a chat. By helping with the tasks, like mentioned in 1, you can contribute to a more relaxed and festive atmosphere.

4 Get some me-time

Every family has her own routines and habits. If a few families gather together, after a few days – sometimes even after a few hours – there can be some tensions… It is very important to take one step back every now and then and get some me-time. Twenty minutes can be enough, maybe you need an hour. Long walks or other kind of outings for small groups of like-minded persons in the group can be very beneficial.

5 Keep it simple

You don’t have to be better than last year, the year before or someone else in the family. It’s not a competition and perfection is an illusion. You don’t have to prove to anybody that you’re a good cook, mother, wife, daughter, friend etc. If you’re the host, you’re entitled to set the rules. Lower down the expectations and instead of getting stressed beforehand, organize some help, keep the menues simple(r) and don’t feel responsible for everything. And if you are the guest: try to be proactive and try to help the host. In the end, what we all want is to spend a peaceful and relaxing Christmas.

Related articles

• 7 Days til Christmas… (poolsidemusings.wordpress.com)
• “Oh my…Christmas Is Approaching!” (allnaturalskincaretips.wordpress.com)
• 5 Simple Tricks to Keep Your Holiday House Guests Happy (and Well-Rested!) (earplugstore.typepad.com)
• Overcoming The Tiredness Of The Season Of Joy! (happysuburbanchick.wordpress.com)

This is the time of the year where children are prone to influenza or flu. I’ve just spent one week with sick children at home and it’s not over yet. We can find several sites about the symptoms and general advice, but I will just to list up five tips about how to cope with children with a flu. – There are many effective ways to beat the flu and to encourage a speedy recovery.

1) Keep the kids cool

Physicians often recommend to keep the patients well-hydrated. As the medicines have different names and components around the world, I’ll not name any, but what is very important are liquids. Warm herbal tea (with or without honey), juices (if its not a tummy-flu), water. All kind of refreshment is highly appreciated by the youngsters: you can cool face, hands and feet with cool washclothes or even do leg compresses. Airing the rooms regularly is a must, and changing pillows and pillowcases more often than usual provide a fresh feeling, especially when the children are feverish. What can help is to set up beds a bit everywhere in the house, in order to keep children close to caregivers and guarantee better nights. There’s nothing worse (at least for me!) than to stand up several times per night…

2) Make a list

When we take care of a sick child it’s advisable to make a list about several things: what kind of medicine we administrate, when, to which child, what temperature it had (when etc.) and whatever deviations or abnormalities we observe (and when), what they eat, drink etc. This is even more important if we have to take care of more than one child and longer than one day. And it’s a huge help when we have to explain to a doctor what our child is going through.

3) What to eat?

When the children are already convalescent getting them to eat often becomes a parent’s biggest challenge. Appetites usually shrink andt hey have no interest in food. A soft diet can help: herbal teas, broths and sometimes popsicles can help with hydration and homemade chicken soup is the best comfort food.

My children’s comfort food when they are ill is yogurt, chicken, sweet potatoes, rice, or plain pasta with olive oil and parmigiano.

4) Entertaining Kids With Flu

When the children are already in the final phase of recovery but are not healthy enough to go to school, they often get bored. A gentle entertainment is always helpful. As expats we usually don’t have grandparents, aunts or uncles living nearby, so we have to figure out alternatives. Neighbors or friends can lend some books or games in order to offer our children a new activity. But you can also dig out old games, books, CD’s, DVD’s or let them paint, color or write something.
In this period of the year, before Christmas, writing or decorating Christmas cards keeps kids busy and you can spend a nice time together. Craft projects are also a nice diversion. Water colors, model building, decorating or painting windows with glass-writing pens etc. are also nice indoor alternatives to electronic entertainment.

5) Relax and take care of yourself

After the first days where we often feel stressed having children at home because we have to adapt to this situation, it’s really a benefit to the whole family if we just lean back and try to relax. Cancel all the appointments, stay home with the sick children and do everything possible to make everyone feel good enough to be able to have a rest.

Parents need to take care of themselves, have enough sleep, drink and eat enough and exercice if they can. Only caregivers who feel well can give their children the best help to have a rapid recovery. If our children feel that staying at home is inconvenient, they will feel guilty and this probably won’t help their recovery process.

I wish all those who are in the same situation as I am right now, to be patient and to make the best of this situation. –  And, of course, I wish everyone a speedy recovery

1) Know how your child’s phone works (e.g. Bluetooth, Internet access etc.)

2) Agree the type of content that you would be happy for them to download, knowingly receive or send on to others

3) Save any abusive messages or inappropriate images for evidence purposes

4) Decide together what are acceptable bills

5) Encourage balanced use (switching off at mealtimes, bedtime etc.)