When talking about Switzerland, people usually think about mountains, chocolate, cheese and watches. In the 16 years I’ve lived in Switzerland I have adopted several habits, but one in particular seemed quite impressive to me. It’s the swiss perception of time, the swiss punctuality.

When I moved to Switzerland at the age of 18, I already knew the country. I grew up in Northern Italy, next to the Southern border of Switzerland and spent many holidays in the Confoederatio Helvetica (i.e. CH for Switzerland). But living in Switzerland was something different.

During the first weeks I realized that I had to reconsider my concept of time. It were the 80ies and I came from Italy, where being punctual meant to be more or less 30 (sometimes even more) minutes late. So, when I knew that I had to spend a few years in Switzerland, I decided to first observe people and their swiss way of life.
I quickly realized that Swiss people have a special connection to time. They seem to have an innate feeling for it. You always know the exact time, as there are clocks at almost every corner. – Yes: Switzerland and watches go hand in hand. If a bus or tram is supposed to leave at 08:32, it doesn’t wait any second longer. Public transport is aligned such that you don’t have to wait longer than 10 minutes to change to the next train, bus or tram. – It took me a while to get used to this. Every time I had to take more than one means of transportation, I started up to one hour earlier (depending on the distance I had to travel), because I was afraid that one bus, tram or train would be cancelled or that I would miss a connection.

Time is important in Switzerland. Not only when you travel. If you’re invited at 7pm, you are expected to show up at 7pm. In the western and southern part of Switzerland, people tend to be more relaxed and do even appreciate if you turn up at 7.05pm (or a bit later).

Even groups of people manage to be very punctual. I remember that we rarely waited for late comers. If you were late, you had to find another way to catch up the others (we didn’t have cellphones back then!). And “late” was everything exceeding 15 minutes. – Nowadays people would call, but still: being late is a sign of rudeness.

After 16 years in Switzerland and subsequent 12 years spent in other countries, I still consider punctuality as very important. Even my children who grew up in Italy and the Netherlands don’t like to come late and consider being on time as a sign of respect even if I didn’t teach them. –  I believe that they were born with that skill – they are all half Swiss though…

I adopted a different sense of time in Switzerland. I never really managed to be as punctual as Swiss people, as I’m always too early, but I adopted this habit of not being late. It is one of these things of another culture that we embrace without questioning, sometimes even without realizing that it becomes part of ourselves.

Do I expect punctuality in other countries or from people who didn’t experience the „Swiss-time“? Not always. I do expect people to come on time for meetings or to more formal appointments. But I also enjoy the more relaxed paste at social meetings. With people who have another, wider perception of time, I usually fix appointments in a way to be sure to meet on time: one of my friends who always comes 30 minutes late, I set the meeting 30 mins earlier to be sure she comes on time.

Did you have similar experiences with cultural related time-perceptions? What kind of time-perception do you have?

This is an updated post called “Swiss punctuality” that I originally wrote for the “Adopt a Culture” series  on Nomad Parents.

©expatsincebirth

If you have more than one child and/or twins, you probably are concerned that you’re not giving them enough individual attention.

When your children are attending school, going to after school activities etc., they barely have time for family activities and sometimes no one-on-one time to interact with their parents. All siblings, no matter how many they are, if they are twins or not, need to have breathing space from each other from time to time. If the one-on-one time with you gives them attention and a bit of a spotlight feeling, it will boost their selfesteem and give them more balance in life.

If you have twins, it’s even more important to organize some special time with one of them, because most of the time, being in public with twins attracts public attention. When they go out on their own or spend one-on-one time with you, they have the unique opportunity to be themselves.

I consider the exclusive attention time very important and recently did set up a weekly schedule for my children.

Here are some hints about how to organize your one-on-one time with your children.

1) Take all the help you need

Do allow friends or family to help you to take your children to separate outings or arrange playdates for one child while you dedicate some time of undivided attention to the remaining child. You can always return the favour.

2) Schedule one-on-one times

This applies to every sort of relationship and maybe you do it already with your partner to nurture your relationship. Scheduled one-on-one time is very important for your children: it gives them uninterrupted time with you. The only thing you need to do is to find a moment that fits in your lifestyle. It’s almost impossible to do it on a daily basis, but you can arrange a few hours per week to dedicate to each of your children.

The time you choose should be relaxing and enjoyable. You don’t need to do something expensive. Children often enjoy chilling on the sofa listening to music or are perfectly happy to do the errands (but not if it gives the feeling of a „have-to“…). Obviously, an evening out with your teenager is very special (going to the movies, a restaurant, a theater or doing what your child likes to do with you).

3) Find a common interest

Every child has a favourite activity. Even multiples can have very different interests that you can share with each of them. It can be sport, gardening, a hobby that you both enjoy together. It is a great opportunity to learn something new with your child.

4) The power of rituals

Rituals are vital for every family. In The Heart of a Family, Meg Cox explains that “Studies have shown repeatedly that the children who are best equipped to face the rude world and stay centered are those who feel close to their families, and that closeness comes from routine reassurance and shared experiences.”

Try to establish routines within your daily life that foster the sharing of one-on-one time with each child. For example, involve one child in cooking dinner and setting up the table, the other one in preparing lunchboxes and the third one in getting things ready for the next day. Or hanging out the laundry or doing other chores in and around the house together. Also, instead of sending the children to bed altogether, take one child at a time and talk to him while he or she is getting ready for bed. – These might seem unimportant moments because they are part of our routine, but if shared with one child only, and not done in a hurry, they can become very precious moments.

Each child has the right to get the opportunity for individual attention. Find out what is best for you and each of your children. Your relationship with your child will surely be rewarded. And don’t forget to have fun and enjoy!