Not to mention that sometimes logging into a platform or accessing the messages, emails etc. wasn’t possible.

Every school has been trying to manage this situation in the best (?) possible way, trying to keep up the pace they had when meeting students in their real classrooms. But that’s not possible.

Everyone who has been working online for some time knows that communication channels need to be clearly defined and accessible to all, at all times, that for live classes we have to give (and receive!) clear instructions, safe links, and enough time to connect. Not everyone has super fast internet connections.

Dear everyone – colleague, teachers, educators, friends…. – please adjust the pace of learning, teaching and working!

We had a break (Easter), but after every kind of break we need time to readjust to this all. What seemed to be a sprint at the beginning, is a marathon: therefore we have to lower the pace and focus more on how we can make sure we all get to the finish line!

Last week I have spent more than 23 hours in online meetings, sessions with clients etc. not counting the time to prepare the meetings and sessions and all the admin that comes with running your own business.

I know it is possible to schedule them in a way that there is no overlapping. For my scheduling I use Acuity (but there are many other tools of course!) where I make sure I have buffer zones of 20 minutes that allow me to stretch, get some fresh air, drink or eat something in between meetings. Some of my colleagues spend 4 hours or more in a row, sitting in front of their screens, up to 16 hours a day. That’s simply not healthy! Although I think that I managed to keep up a good pace and manage to organize it all in the best possible way, I feel like my (brain) muscles are sore from this all. In addition to this all, the “emotional” aspect of this all ask our “emotional” muscles (I can’t find a better way to express that “feeling”; please share a better definition of this in the comments) are constantly stretched, highly alert… exhausted.

After several weeks of online work and learning, we should all assess what works, what doesn’t, and speak up! Let colleagues, organizers, managers, teachers, friends etc. know so that we all can “breathe” and go through this in the healthiest way.

For me it is clear that last week was an exception. This week I have scheduled less meetings, I spend more time outdoors and include workouts in my daily schedule. – And I think that my children need the same kind of time offline too. They won’t be learning less, and, honestly: we can’t compare the end of this year’s school year with any other one before. It is different, schools need to find ways to assess the progress and take the circumstance into consideration. Why are some worrying that “this generation will once be labelled with “those who graduated in the COVID19 year””: that’s our reality, that is how it was in other times too (war times come to mind – there are still people who minimize the effect of this pandemic or avoid thinking of it). – So, let’s adjust the pace!

Everything we’re doing needs to be enough. We are all doing our best giving the circumstances and bars should be lowered or somehow changed.

How are your teenagers doing after all these weeks of remote learning?

How does this all affect them, and you?

Please share in the comments.
And I’m off for a break – but will be back in… 20 mins or 30… hm… not sure …

I wasn’t really surprised to find out that the Repair Café was initiated by the Dutch Martine Postma in 2007 in Amsterdam, and that it has been a great success since. Martine started the Repair Café Foundation in 2009, a non-profit organisation, “that provided professional support to local groups in the Netherlands and other countries wishing to start their own Repair Café”, and she even wrote a  book about it (in Dutch).

On the site you can find out where to find the closest Repair Café in your area:

And if there is none, they have a great guideline about how you can start one, after all, we don’t have to reinvent the wheel…:

This step-by-step manual is based on our years of experience, and guides you through all the different stages of setting up your own Repair Café: from finding local repair experts and a suitable location, to collecting the right tools, creating publicity, finding funds for your initiative etc.

What I like about this idea is not only the fact that we get the chance to learn how to repair items even if we are not a professional – we can get help at those Cafés! – but it’s the mindset. Why throw away if you can repair it? Many times we choose to buy new because repairing is way too expensive, and I admit that I did it several times in the past. But many items can actually be fixed with less expense. There are shops that have spare parts – one has only to find them… In these Repair Cafés you can ask people about that and maybe you’re lucky and find even someone who has an idea how to repair it.
Repairing is to give things a new chance – and sometimes purpose. I like this idea because it is one of the things I want my children to learn: that we can fix things, that items can be repaired. I want them to grow up with what I call the repairing-mindset (I’ll explain it more in another post soon), because it will help them to be more conscientious and respectful for things they/we own.

Not throwing away things, but trying to fix them is in line with the buy-nothing-new-month movement, a “global movement for collective, conscientious consumption” and the idea started in Melbourne and spread to the Netherlands and the USA.

Since I wrote about this buy-nothing-new-month a few years ago, in our family we tend to expand this month over the whole year. It’s not about not buying anything at all – we all need food and items for our household that we still need to buy. It’s more about reflecting on what we “need” and what we “want”, and if the things we want are really so indispensable – and if they really need to be bought new…

I personally like the idea of knowing how to fix things, to reuse them, maybe by giving them another purpose; and I like the idea of my non-needed/wanted items to find a new home and make someone else happy.

– What are the items you repair? Do you throw away the items you no longer use or need, or do you give them away?

Most of us are back from summer holidays. In order to not feel to sad when getting back to the usual routine, I can warmly recommend to plan your next vacation, or shortcation. Why not camping with your kids? For those of you who haven’t done so yet, here are some great reasons why camping with kids is a great alternative to the all-inclusive kind of vacations. – Thank you, William, for writing this post for my blog! You may all want to check out his fantastic site Pandaneo where he gives us more tips on camping!

The transition from youth to adulthood is hard and as parents we would like to see it go as smoothly as possible. There are things we do with our kids when they are growing up that help to teach them responsibility, like assigning them chores or helping them to budget their allowance. Camping is also great for preparing kids for adulthood though you (and they) may not even notice. Here are 8 ways that camping helps to prepare your kids for adulthood:

#1: Camping Teaches Tangible Skills

When you go camping, there are many new skills to be learned. You may start with simple car camping and move on to backpacking where things get more complicated. These are all great opportunities for your kids to develop new skills. While some of the skills won’t necessarily be useful outside of camping, your children will have developed the capacity to learn.

#2: Camping Helps Kids Develop Confidence

As your kids are learning and mastering all of the different skills that are necessary when camping, their confidence will grow. Having confidence is very important when transitioning to adulthood, as growing up can feel scary. From the skills and abilities they gained camping, your child will have confidence to take things on in adulthood.

#3: Camping Teaches Responsibility

While your kids may have minimal responsibility during early camping trips, as they get older their responsibility can increase. They will have their role and they will be expected to fulfill it. And of course all roles are not necessarily fun. My son always wants to be build the campfire but he also has to be responsible for washing the dishes after our meal. We still get some moaning here and there, but for the most part he takes on the task, knowing it is his responsibility. This has been one of the most valuable lessons from camping.

#4: Camping Teaches Kids to be ready and Prepared for Anything

The outdoors is not a controlled environment like your indoor home.  When at home, you will not necessarily be impacted by poor weather, as you can remain inside. When camping, you might encounter wildlife, or be overwhelmed by bugs. Each experience will help your child learn that anything can happen and they can do what they can to prepare. It is my children who remind me before each camping trip to make sure we have the bug spray. And they like to be in charge of their rain gear “just in case”. Kids also learn that even with the best preparation, there still may be problems and they will learn to work through those.

#5: Camping Teaches Kids to Work Together

When camping, there are certain tasks that have to be done before you can go and have fun. Working together on these tasks gets them done faster. There are also certain tasks, like setting up a tent, that require a second person. For young campers, this is an opportunity to learn to help by completing small tasks. Older camper will be able to take on a greater role and experience how to work as a team with their family to accomplish a common goal.

#6: Camping Teaches Kids Flexibility

Things don’t always go as you planned in life and that can be frustrating. Those who learn to be flexible will have an easier time navigating those periods in life where things are not going as planned. Camping provides opportunities to practice this. It may rain right when you planned to start cooking your meal for example. Or you may have to camp in a different place than you had planned.

#7: Camping Teaches Planning Skills

Planning ahead is important in many cases to ensure you have what you need. Kids can learn the importance of planning through camping. Creating a camping checklist with your kids is a great way to start them thinking about it and they can help you check off the items as you pack. This is a great life skill. There is other planning that goes into camping, like planning your menu for meals and planning where you will camp. Kids will have the opportunity to see what happens when you don’t plan ahead (campsites booked, meal incomplete, missing an important item) vs. when you do.

#8: Camping Teaches Problem Solving Skills

It never fails; on a camping trip, no matter how well prepared we are, we always forget something or something goes slightly awry. For us, it seems that we regularly forget the rain fly for our tent. Fortunately, the whole family now knows how to hang a tarp over the tent in order to keep it dry. And of course every campsite is different, meaning that we have to problem solve every time we want to hang a tarp. This gives kids the chance to think through the problem and try different ways to solve it.

Camping is much more than an economical vacation. The experience provides kids with a variety of skills and opportunities that will help kids gain the tools that they will need for adulthood. How do you feel camping prepares kids for adulthood?

Author Bio

William Jonson is an outdoor enthusiast, he loves traveling and willing to share interesting experiences about his trips. You can find tips, guides, lessons from camping on his blog Pandaneo.com

Other posts by William that I really like – well, I like all his posts on his site, but these are a bit related to this one:
9 Reasons for Camping in the Backyard

Camping with Family: Preparing for a Fun Activity

Family Camping Safety Tips

What children really want, is to tell us that they need to express something. And we should “listen”.

Most children hide their feelings of fear at an early age. They pick up on our uneasiness with their big feelings. We try to get them not to cry, we distract them when they’re upset, we try to fix things so they won’t have an upset. I would wager that most of us parents give at least ten strong signals a day that we don’t like our children to show us how they feel. So their fears go underground, where these powerful feelings cause trouble. They eventually surface not in crying or clinging or a full-out screaming response, but in hitting and biting and pushing other children.

Sometimes a toddler would also laugh while hitting. Adults usually would respond with reprimanding this very “bad” behaviour, which will not really solve the problem.

Hitting is usually a sign that the child is troubled by something. When a child hits other children in school, teachers usually appoint the parents and try to find out what may cause this behaviour. Sadly, many parents would probably think of a kind of punishment for their children instead of approaching this problem with empathy.

When a child hits – it can be also an older child! – there is always a reason for it, and the fact itself that the child chooses a physical way to express his or her frustration, is a sign that he/she needs some support to channel those emotions in a way that it’s not hurtful for him/her or others. – It seems a contradiction in terms, but a child that pushes others away (by hitting, teasing etc.) is usually trying to say that he/she needs and seeks attention, care and help.

In the post “When Your Toddler Hits You: A New Perspective“, Laura Podowski gives very useful advice on how to interpret this kind of behaviour and how to address a toddler who is hitting others.

The main thing one should do is to actively listen to the child. Not only what he/she has to say, but to understand what causes this behaviour and address it with the child. – If you want to help your child to tell you what is going on, there are many sites with emotion-cards like these ones:

Children learn to express their feelings, frustrations by copying what we do. If we, as adults, are able to explain why at a certain moment we are nervous, anxious, frustrated, overwhelmed, happy, excited etc., they will be able to do the same. Toddlers can learn this even if they are not yet talking much. They can use signs to express frustrations and they can learn to name their feelings and, by mirroring our behaviour, they will be able to tell what is going on and what they need.

In her article, Laura Podowski presents some examples of interactions with toddlers.

Although I fully agree with her approach, I must add that toddlers can’t really understand negations. If we tell a toddler “don’t touch the stove”, he probably will touch it right away. Not because he wasn’t listening, but because the whole concept of negation is not yet clear. What he really hears is “touch the stove”.

If we tell our toddler who is hitting “don’t hit me, I don’t like it”, he will hear “hit me, I like it”. Saying “stay away from the stove” or “stop hitting me, it hurts me” gives a much clearer message. – I will explain the use and comprehension of negation in another post soon.

Multicultural families need to agree not only on which festivities they want to celebrate but also on how to celebrate them. This decision involves extended family and friends too. This time of the year many internationally living families are getting increasingly worried because they know that this topic will cause friction with their loved ones.

I’ve experienced many changes in the way we celebrate Christmas in my family.

My parents tried to maintain the German traditions while we were living in Italy. We had a Christmas wreath and an Adventskalender where we would open a “little door” every morning, starting from December 1rst until Christmas Eve, the 24th December, finding either little chocolates or some nice pictures (that would be illuminated when hold against a window or put in front of a candle or lamp), with the same effect of lighted windows you can find in Switzerland and Germany where houses are sometimes decorated like Advent calendars:

Over the years we adopted more and more elements of the Italian way of celebrating Christmas: panettone and torrone became as standard as Lebkuchen and Weihnachtsplätzchen and we also preferred having fish instead of meat for Christmas dinner.

We had a presepe set up in our living room, but also an Adventskranz (Christmas wreath). – In the last 20 years our family traditions became more and more multicultural, mixing mainly Italian, German and Swiss and, for my family here in the Netherlands, also Dutch habits. These don’t only imply food and decorations, but also celebrations throughout this Christmas season.

A month full of celebrations…

In many European countries Christmas is not the only festivity this time of the year. On December the 5th or 6th we celebrate Sankt Nikolaus in Germany, Switzerland etc., and on January the 6th we celebrate la Befana in Italy and Dreikönige in Switzerland, Germany, France etc.

On the 6th December children receive tangerines, nuts and small presents for Sankt Nikolaus and usually a little Sankt Nikolaus Lebkuchen (gingerbread) in Germany and Switzerland, whereas in the Netherlands this is the most important celebration (see below). On the 6th January kids get candy if they were “good”, and “coal” if they were “bad”.

My husband grew up in Switzerland, and he recalls that Christmas season started (more or less) when they had a Grittibänz at Saint Martin (November 11th). Then Saint Nicholas followed, Christmas cookies were baked and the first Christmas Markets were set up.

What to eat at Christmas…

Christmas is a time to celebrate thankfulness and togetherness and traditionally this is made by sharing meals. In Italy, Christmas is the most important celebration. Families have a festive dinner on the vigilia di Natale (also called cenone di Natale) on Christmas Eve, December the 24th, where traditionally fish is served (after antipasti and primi).

The birth of Jesus is celebrated on the 25th December by cooking festive meals that are followed by panettone (wich is similar to the German Weihnachtsstollen!), pandoro and torrone.

In Germany, the traditional Christmas meal in my extended family was the Weihnachtsgans (goose; some prefer duck). My grandma served it with red cabbage and potatoe dumplings (find more recipes – in German! – here) after a soup, and Christmas cookies and Christstollen afterwards. – In our family in Italy, we used to have trout for lunch (after antipasti and primi) on the 25th, and some panettone, pandoro, torrone, Weihnachstplätzchen and Lebkuchen… Not all together, of course, but nicely devided over the Christmas holidays… Our Swiss family likes to celebrate with a raclette made with cheese, but meat is also a great alternative and this is very similar to the Dutch gourmetten.

When to open the presents…

In Switzerland, the Netherlands and Germany, the presents are handed out on Christmas eve (24th December). The family gathers around or in front of the Christmas tree and sings songs. Children play the piano, the flute or other instruments, and only after having sung Christmas carols all together, everyone opens their presents.

In Italy, like in the US, it is custom to receive the presents on the 25th. – In many multicultural families it is very difficult to agree on the way to celebrate Christmas, on how and when to hand presents.

Is Father Christmas bringing the presents or are they offered by family members? My husband and I agreed that as long as our children believe in Father Christmas (Weihnachtsmann), he would be the one bringing the presents – like Sinterklaas a few weeks earlier. In order to have a smooth transition to the “reality” and less magical Christmas, once they’ll know the truth about Father Christmas, we let extended family offer personal presents, so that our children can thank them for their gifts. This combination of traditions is an important aspect of these celebrations which really needs to be agreed with the whole extended family in order to avoid misunderstandings and frictions. (this was in 2014; meanwhile our children know about Father Christmas and celebrate it more like adults)

What we celebrate now

Since we live in the Netherlands, our festive time of the year starts when Sinterklaas arrives to the Netherlands in his stoomboot end of November, and ends the 6th of January with the Heilige Dreikönige and the Befana. – Our children follow the whole story about Sinterklaas and his Zwarte Pieten and zetten de schoenen almost every evening. When Sinterklaas returns to Spain on the 6th December, we start decorating our home for Christmas with symbols.

It is common practice to celebrate the Advent (from Lat. adventus “coming”) by lighting one candle every Sunday before Christmas, to symbolize the time of expectant waiting and preparation for the celebration of the Nativity of Jesus Christ.

The readings for the first Sunday in Advent relate to the old testament patriarchs who were Christ’s ancestors, so some call the first advent candle that of hope. The readings for the second Sunday concern Christ’s birth in a manger and other prophecies, so the candle may be called of Bethlehem, the way or of the prophets. The third Sunday, Gaudete Sunday after the first word of the introit (Philippians 4:4), is celebrated with rose-colored vestments similar to Laetare Sunday at the middle point of Lent. The readings relate to St. John the Baptist, and the rose candle may be called of joy or of the shepherds.(…) The readings for the fourth Sunday relate to the annunciation of Christ’s birth, so the candle may be known as the Angel’s candle. (cfr. Wikipedia)

Once the advent wreath is in its place, we slowly add a few decorations like candles, the winter scenery our children decided to set up some years ago (and we add some details every year) and a presepe.

If you would like to know more about Advent, have a look at this post on ExploreGod.

How we are going to celebrate Christmas this year (2014)

This year we’ll celebrate Christmas in the Netherlands. The past we’ve mainly been travelling during this time and this year I really want to stay put.

This year, my parents will come to visit and we’re all very excited to have them! We have made plans about what we want to do with them.

Christmas, for me, means to spend time together, to focus on one another and enjoy the festive atmosphere. I like the smell of Christmas: the mix of cinnamon, candles, hot chocolate, sometimes Glühwein, Lebkuchen, roasted almonds and marroni. We’ll have a cenone di Natale with antipasti and fish, and on the 25th we’ll do like the locals and opt for gourmetten: similar to the Swiss raclette, fish, meat and vegetables are cooked on small stoves directly at the table and everyone can serve himself. Or we’ll make a fondue… Our children will open their presents on Christmas Eve and we’ll enjoy the erste Weihnachtsfeiertag by having a great festive lunch and going for a long walk maybe at the beach.

©expatsinebirth2014

This year my children will get to decorate the Christmas tree with their grandpa. We’re all not getting any younger and I want this Christmas to be a time to build memories. Christmas is the time of the year where we not only are aware of the beginning of an era – a new year! – but also of the ending of one… For me Christmas is a mix of feelings: some sadness about the year that passed, friends who left, but also the excitement about the new. In German there is a nice word for it: Besinnlichkeit. In some countries people have just celebrated Thanksgiving and this spirit of being grateful and thankful for me is the spirit of Christmas that I want my children to associate with this time of the year. I think this is the heritage I want them to have. No matter how and where they’ll celebrate their future Christmases: I would love them to focus on this Christmas feeling.

Candle and decoration on a German Christmas tree (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I know it’s still a few more days until Christmas, but I’d like to wish you all a besinnliche Weihnachtszeit (“reflective Holiday Season”), un buon Natale, un joyeux Noël, en gueti Wienachtsziit, Merry Christmas, Feliz Navidad, Boas Festas and een vrolijk Kerstfeest!